


His Dean

by phanspn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel Death, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel/Dean Winchester Angst, DeanCas - Freeform, Demon, Demon Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel kiss, First Kiss, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, SPN - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9110812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanspn/pseuds/phanspn
Summary: It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?





	

When Dean kissed him, Castiel stood still and stiff. His muscles tensed at the surprise of having the man's soft lips against his own rough, chapped ones. Dean's left hand held onto Cas' signature trench coat, pressing their bodies impossibly close together, and Castiel never really understood hugs but for some reason this felt right.

It would've been right. Maybe if the timing was different, or if Dean wasn't a demon. Castiel should push him away, it wasn't really Dean, after all. Castiel should fly out of the bunker completely and leave Dean there all alone. He should. 

Being an angel it was hard to understand love. He knew what it was- he knew he loved his brothers, Gabriel, Balthazar, Lucifer even. He knew he loved Bobby and that he loved Charlie and Claire and Sam, but he never really understood it. Not until the moment he felt Dean's lips on his. A rush of endorphins and emotions blew over him like a strong wind, and he knew.

Maybe, he thought, maybe it really was Dean. He didn't know if it was possible to break the hold the mark had on him with just a kiss, he did know, though, that a simple 'I need you.' made him forget the months of training Naomi had put him through. 

He should probably stop thinking and kiss back, not that he knew how to- but he'd follow Dean's lead. He moved his left hand up to rest on Dean's cheek, where a thin layer of stubble had began to grow. He liked Dean with stubble. He decided. Not a beard like Cas himself had once grown out, simply a light layer of hair to add definition to his face.

His right hand found his way to grip the younger man's red plaid shirt, wanting to be closer. He decided it was time to work on his lips, since Dean's were moving softly and doing all the work, whilst he stood there doing nothing. Castiel was sloppy and inexperienced, and Dean- wasn't. But it was alright because they balanced each other out, always had.

Castiel noticed that his eyes were still open and Dean's were closed, and it felt like they'd been standing there for years. So Cas let his eyes flutter closed and it was perfect. Perfect for just a second. 

Dean didn't mind the kiss, and it was kind of hot because Cas kind of sucked. He had to wait like five minutes for the Angel to relax and close his eyes, but he needed him to be vulnerable. The old Dean stirred inside him. He felt something for Castiel, love or some crap. But that was the old Dean, and the new Dean didn't care. 

Dean was quick on his feet, and took advantage of Cas' momentary lapse, stabbing the shining Angel blade into his chest. He did it slower than he had to, soaking in the feeling of metal sinking into soft flesh, and the gasp Castiel gave when he realised what was happening. He could've done it quicker, more humane, but after all- neither of them were human. 

Castiel was lost in the kiss and they'd been standing there for years, he almost forgot it wasn't really Dean. He remembered when he felt something cold sink into his chest. It didn't hurt at first, and he was confused for a second before he let out a small gasp of realisation. 

He didn't even try to move away. It would be pointless, wouldn't it. He was weak and vulnerable, and Dean held him with a steady grip. Castiel didn't register that their lips were still locked until he felt the demon grin into the kiss. Castiel's knees weakened and he would have fallen if Dean wasn't holding him up. 

Dean laughed, an actual laugh, as he watched the shining blue life in Cas' eyes begin to fade. Old Dean screamed out from deep inside him, begging for new Dean to spare the Angel. For a split second, new Dean felt a pang of guilt rush up his spine- but only for a second, because new Dean didn't care. 

Their lips had parted already, and Cas was almost on his knees, the only thing holding him up was the blade through his stomach and Dean's grip on his coat. Castiel whimpered and he knew he was going to die, but at least the last thing he did was kiss Dean Winchester. 

Cas wished that the demon would show mercy, give in to his pleads and sobbing and I love you's- and kiss him one last time before he died. 

When Cas looked up for the first time since Dean stabbed him, the hunter's eyes were no longer the emerald green that made Cas go weak in the knees, they were black. Pure, evil black and Dean was still laughing because no one actually chuckles and Cas was scared. For the first time in millennials of living- Castiel was scared. Not of death, not of the monster that held him, but that he'd never be able to tell Dean- the real Dean- that he loved him. 

So he tried. Reaching up with his left hand, the other still holding onto Dean's shirt, he covered the black eyes and tried to imagine that there wasn't a demon hiding in the form of his beloved. 

Dean would've stopped him, but his hands were full holding the Angel up. Castiel wasn't sure if Dean could hear him over his own laughter, but he was crying. "Dean," He said, just hoping maybe the real Dean would hear. "Dean I love you." He was sobbing now, and even if the demon could hear he was sure he wouldn't understand. "Please remember that I love you." 

And with that as his chosen final words, Castiel let go. He took one last look at the man he loved, and let his eyes fall closed and his hand fall with him. When he went to heaven, he knew what it would look like. It would be full of simpler times when all there was in the world was him, Dean and Sam. Not the new Dean, no. The old Dean- the one he'd loved and cherished since the moment he was raised from perdition. His Dean.


End file.
